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Marianne is trailblazing the way toward shared housing in Asheville NC: “Community living based on the guidance of feminine desires for relatedness, commitment, laughter and sharing.”
Women are the creators of community. It’s about women creating communities with other women, their families, their male or female partners, or alone. It is women at the helm guiding towards the goal of camaraderie and mutual support while living in proximity to others."
Marianne and host Zoe discussed the shared housing movement sweeping the nation. They discuss the shared housing movement including Marianne's inspiration for shared housing, anecdotes and resources for shared housing explorers.
Transcript Marianne Kilkenny
ZM: Who shares housing and why do they do it? We talk with folks who are exploring shared housing and experts in the field. This is Zoe, your shared housing advocate and host for today's show.
ZM: This morning I'm pleased to have join me- Marianne Kilkenny. Marianne is a trailblazer for shared housing in Asheville, North Carolina. Marianne has a background in Human Resources management in the Silicon Valley using her skills now to teach others to maneuver the hurdles for shared housing.
ZM: Thank you for joining us this morning Marianne.
MK: Hey Zoe you're very welcome. I'm really pleased that you're getting the word out about this really amazing movement.
Let's talk about how you yourself are living and breathing the shared housing experience what inspired you to become involved in the shared housing movement Marianne
MK: Oh I suppose it's probably been my interest in living in community it came partially from the fact that I didn't want to live the end of my life like my parents did so I looked at Alternatives
like community and the one that kept coming up to me is the most fun was living like The Golden Girls so I tell anybody that I can tell that that was what I wanted to do and that's really shared housing and that's probably what most people recognize with the Golden Girls.
MK: Northern California to look at the various living arrangements I lived in a house mainly alone but maybe in a group then I also pent five months living with another woman in her house which was an interesting experience and I suppose the the fine I also was doing workshops really wanting women to live in community and at the same time I actually wasn't doing it.
MK: So uh when I was laying at the bottom of the stairs on Christmas 2010 having had a fall living by myself I really think that probably was the push that I needed that got me to where I live right now in a shared house with four other folks
ZM: So you benefit from shared housing personally so I'm wondering if you could highlight others stories whose wives have been enriched by shared housing
MK: Yeah I'm glad to say that I know quite a few of them because I've been keeping track one of them is a Woman by the name of Vicky who lived locally to me and in a in a transition step to the
possibility of living in the on the west coast she moved in with a married couple and it really she said really opened her eyes to the future of what really could happen in a shared housing and it was a really really favorable experience for her and what it enabled her to do was actually leave this area move to California and a whole new life and what she did there she also lived in a shared house you know with other people so it really opened up the possibility that she can make that kind of transition in her life.
MK: Another woman that I a younger woman that had is a nurse and works nights uh has a child and that shared housing makes it possible for when she goes to work her housemate is in the house with her child and should anything happen there's child care right there
MK: Another person I know by the name of Mary had a big house and really felt that she was not utilizing the house the way she could because it was just her in this gigantic house
because she felt sort of sad about it so had someone move in with her and then there was this
MK: The part that I think is really important about these big houses is is that there's a sustainability there's the companionship and of course there's the economics of it.
MK: And one of my favorites is the person who has a pet and her name is Barbara and she has to go off go somewhere for her well her vacation or to visit relatives and it was really nice because
someone could just walk downstairs take care of her kitties give them some company and some love and she didn't have to worry about that and for all pet owners and pet lovers that's a huge burden to be taken off of your of your plate I think
MK: So there's just those are just a few of the the people that I you know off the top of my head really come to mind as as people that that see shared housing as a huge attribute.
*The Blueprint of We *
MK: What it is is a document that we use at our current house and what I think is amazing document for any kind of shared housing or Community because it tells each what each person looks like on a good day a bad day their warning signs and what to do with somebody's under some form of stress because what you get is you you and you merge the document together so that you telling people about yourself you know before you get to a crisis situation and you know for
anybody to say that there isn't going to be conflict in any kind of community or shared housing I think probably is uh not informed and so this is already in place and ready to go so that if you're
having any kind of feeling like that you read the document and you find out oh this is what this person is like and if this is the trouble that they might having and this is the assistance that I can give them so that's just one of the things we use in our house as a tool along with some of the other things that are also on that resource page on my website.
ZM: On the site there's a couple of interviews that you have like from YouTube that are up there I'll link to your Facebook page
MK: And people can also sign up for a newsletter I'm helping people to get through the the kind of circuitous route that I might have just outlined for you to get here which took me about five years it's to make it a little bit quicker so I do coaching and Consulting for both individuals and groups and you can find that on my services page kind of outline there and the other longer pieces are I do workshops that are day long to really move people from women from like getting from here to there that's my goal is to get people into living in these kinds of arrangements the other thing I do is uh what I call a kickoff day I did one of these in Sarasota a couple years ago and they've since uh formed a lot of different groups from us and it's really using exercises to form connection give information about the various models and they actually move into action and take take steps to keep going.
MK: And of course the part I have to say I really love is to speak is to talk about this model is to talk about you know what the advantages of community for people Um really are that's the part I really love to get people fired up just like these other events and workshops to take something away that they can actually use tomorrow
MK: And of course the other thing is is I really, like the NBC News piece they found me as really somebody that's talking to you know the media about and to people like you to say hey this is happening this is something that's happening and of course for me it's the Boomer women you know and looking at shared housing as a viable alternative to move forward.
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