Transcript: Chatting with Doris Beckman of Home Sharing Golden Girls Style
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Inspired by The Golden Girls sitcom, Doris Beckman is the founder of "Home Sharing Golden Girls Style," a Facebook group, and the Facebook page called "Golden Connections." Doris has been successfully home sharing since 2016, after thinking that #homesharing would be either a last-ditch financial option or a really fun opportunity for social life and support -- like on the TV show. She gained the right experience in the home share sector by working with #thoughtleader Annamarie Pluhar and Home Match Monterey. Listen to a successful home-sharing provider explain her unique experience. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k04Xp1lJApQ&t=42s)
I got started after my husband passed away, I was in danger of losing my house. I had a mountain of medical bills and we had wiped out all our savings, 401K, everything was gone.
I knew that I had to do something you know to be able to continue to live here. I've always loved the show The Golden Girls and thought it would be great to live that way but never expected to really have to do it. Because I thought “Oh, I'm married and you know, everything's fine” but things happen. I thought of, I guess, you know like I said, I like the Golden Girls concept.
I always thought in the back of my mind, it wasn't really a plan, but it was like “Well, that would be an option” you know, if anything happened.
Area Home Match Introduced Her To Shared Housing Idea
Well I worked for “Home Match” and we had interviewed a bunch of home sharing programs that we were hoping to bring into this area.
You know one of the things that we found is people wait too long. They wait till they're really in crisis and then they think well, that's the way to go, but then we couldn't help them. So they need to start thinking of it much earlier.
Author Annamarie Pluhar’s Sharing Housing Program Informs Decision Making
I started searching online and came across Annamarie and what she was doing. We are trying to get funding to do Annamarie's program here. I started *it * based off of Annamarie's, what she was doing. She had come out here, in fact she stayed with me.
And at the time I was part of the Area Agency on Aging. They were supposed to be finding affordable housing for older people and so Annamarie came and we invited non-profits mostly. There were 35 non-profits and it was a full day workshop. That was back in 2018.
Doris’s Facebook Page Home Sharing Golden Girls Style
I was hoping that it would be more of a local but it hasn't turned out that way. I think people there posting are really out of state. I did start one for the local area.
[search Facebook for her group, Home Sharing Golden Girls Style]
Vetting Housemates for Home Sharing
[Do you have interview questions you ask potential housemates?]
I went through the questionnaire that was in Annamarie's book. You know, the one that we both answer and then compare our answers.
Setting Up Her Four Bedroom House for Home Sharing
Well I have a four bedroom house so I put a separate entrance into the front bedroom. I could close it off eventually if that's what I wanted to do. But I do, like I say, I like the The Golden Girls concept. I don't want to just be collecting rent from somebody, I want to have that kind of friendly relationship connection.
Current Housemate Considerations
[What were the aspects that helped you to decide on your current housemate?]
That she didn't, you know, she didn't have any pets of her own. She did pet sitting.
Age was important to me too. She is older than me.
That she was still active and she was, she is petsitting again.
But I think maybe she got into a situation where she thought “oh, I don't have to worry about it as much so I can take time off” but I said “that kind of changes what I was expecting”.
I just didn't want somebody that was here all day long when I'm trying to work.
She likes to garden. I've got a little front patio and all. She's brought you know some trees and stuff like that that she's brought with her. So she's made the patio really nice. She likes to go out there and sit you know, or have her lunch.
She is a big help, you know. She doesn't cook all the time now because she's decided she wants to lose weight. But, you know, we have meals together and it's a companionship type of a situation.
Housing Grant Eliminates Shortfall
The lady I have with me now came in in January. At first I had wanted more money than she could afford but it seemed to be exactly what I was looking for. You know, she liked to cook and that type of thing. “Maybe that would be worth coming down”. And in fact, I even discussed it on the group with Annamarie and they said well she wasn't able to do the first and the last month's rent and the security deposit.
She was telling the lady at Carmel Foundation ‘well I can't, you know, I can't really afford it. And they had a grant. And they ended up paying her first and her last month, or the security deposit and the last month's rent. So it worked out.
Sharing Housing Is Stepping Stone For Home Seekers
My first experience was in 2016. She was here probably for about…she was a school teacher
And she was very active. She did a lot of volunteering so she was gone a lot at
night because she did ushering for the theater and things like that. It worked out well. She had been teaching at a school that's right down the street from me. Of course when the
school opened the next year they transferred her clear across town. She ended up finding something that was closer to the school that she was in.
Let’s see, after her I had, oh it was a man that was out here doing work. And he was referred by a friend that I walk with all the time. He was going to be gone too, you know, he had to go home and while he was gone he actually continued to keep paying rent
During that time I had somebody else move into the other room. She really didn't work out. She had told me that she you know she liked to cook. She liked to come home like at 11 o'clock at night and cook full meals.
Communicating With A Housemate “Really, this just is not working”
She (sic) was a music teacher and she really wanted to be in the Bay area. So I sat down with her and I said “ Well, do you know anybody in that area? You start talking to your friends and see if there's anything available” She ended up moving to Berkeley and she's got a place that has her own little kitchen and stuff to herself. That's not going to bother anybody so that worked out well for her and for me. I was happy.
The fourth one. I knew her from the professional women's group. She was a Rancher. She did a lot of yard work and heavy lifting and stuff around here. She was a great help during COVID because she did all the grocery shopping and everything. For each hour she worked I was paying her an hourly rate off the rent.
You know the situation changed. Because *originally* she was out of the house working and I was in the house and then when COVID hit we were both in the house. That just didn't, you know, work out as well so she decided she was going to go ahead and do her do her traveling and see if there was somewhere else that she could live more affordably.
Looking Back At Her Sharing Experience
I have to say I don't regret any of them because I learned a lot from each one. I learned more about myself and what I want. You know, what not to settle for, what's not right.
What do you consider to be the benefit of sharing a home?
Well of course there's a financial benefit.
It's sustainable for the Earth. You're not having two of everything you know if you're sharing a toaster an oven and refrigerator and things like that.
The help around the house. Especially as we age, we can't do as much as we used to. That's a big bonus.
The companionship. It's nice to have somebody ask you how your day was or leave a light on for you if you're out at night you know. There's times that I've come home and there was dinner waiting for me which I didn't expect.
You know I think having other people around is what keeps you active.
I think there's a lot of benefits.
If it’s started early it can become where you have that help as you age, like if you need a ride.
Loneliness is a big health risk now you know. People are isolated and by ourselves like that.
People First, Not Stuff
You have four bedrooms, you fill them up with a bunch of stuff, you know? I'm using them for storage and all. And it's like, no, it's time for people first. [Doris's People First Teaser]
[What does your family think about you sharing housing?]
They are happy that I'm sharing.
You know I don't want to be a burden on my kids I don't think it's their responsibility to have to worry about me, you know and I do want to be able to leave the house to them. I can't do that you know, I can't do it without the sharing.
I don't want to go out and have to work in my 70’s.
Chatting With Doris Beckman of Home Sharing Golden Girls Style
Stabilizing Housing In Monterey County Through The Home Match Program
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