Annamarie Pluhar is an author and coach for #sharinghousing, relying on her 30+ years of living with others. Her easy-going coaching style and affirmative approach to eliminating the obstacles to #homesharing have made her one of the premier advisors for this lifestyle choice. She's could be considered a housemate 'mechanic' with her coaching ability, guiding the interviewing process and offering even-handed guidance for this lifestyle choice.
Let's Share Housing was a roommate matching service in Portland Oregon that conducted business from 2009 to 2015. Before the business was shuttered in 2015 they were interviewed by “AARP”, “Al Jazeera” and the “Today Show” among other media outlets.
Would you like to be interviewed about your shared housing experience? If so, please get in touch. We're always looking for folks who have a positive experience to share with others.
ZM: INTRO: Good morning, welcome to the “Let’s Share Housing Blog Talk Radio Show”, your home to explore the fundamental questions, rewards and benefits behind shared housing. Shared housing is a worldwide phenomenon. Who shares housing and why do they do it? Bi-weekly we talk with folks who are exploring shared housing and experts in the field. This is Zoe your shared housing advocate and host for today's show. You can reach me Pacific Standard Time at ***-***-**** with questions about shared housing. Thank you for joining our conversation today and remember, let's sharehousing.com is your resource for taking the next step. We're helping housemates connect.
ZM: Pull up a chair and sit down with us to welcome Annamaria Pluhar. She's joined us today. She's an author of “Sharing Housing, A Guidebook For Finding And Keeping Good Housemates.” Annamaria offers workshops and coaching that support people in their quest for good housemates. Her website sharinghousing.com is a companion to her book. The website offers commentary links to resources and interviewing checklists and downloadable worksheets for home sharers everywhere. Thank you for joining us this morning Annamarie.
AP: I'm delighted to be here, thank you for asking me.
ZM: All right I'm glad you're here. So, your website and your book are rich resources to folks who are considering shared housing. So I thought we could begin our conversation by exploring why folks like consider shared housing
AP: Oh I think that there are some very good reasons for sharing housing and I actually I think there are five reasons the first one is money and people are pretty clear about that when they join up to become housemates. You save so much money: when you're sharing the utilities when you're sharing the rent or mortgage when you're sharing various tasks and maintenance costs I think that part's obvious.
AP: The other parts may not be so obvious.
AP: The second reason is companionship. To have somebody at home that you can say hello to, that you can say goodbye to, who might look at you and say “how was your day?” This can make a really big difference in a person's life and I think that we live in a society where it can be pretty hard to have a social life– or no I don't mean a social life, I mean a spontaneous social connection. That's– we live in a funny society. So that's reason number two.
AP: Reason number three is help around the house. Whether that be as a single mom sharing with another single mom and being able to spell each other on child care. Whether it's dog owners, who can spell each other on dog care or whether it's an older person for whom changing a light bulb is becoming a little bit difficult who shares housing with a younger person who can offer those kinds of help. That's a, can be a really important reason for sharing housing.
AP: Fourth one is emergencies- Just recently I had a really bad back spasm that left me immobilized for three days. I would have been in really deep trouble if I had been living alone and hadn't had somebody who could help me out in that kind of an emergency and we have all the emergencies can go from locking yourself out to the kind of sickness that I had for a short period of time.
AP: And what's my fifth? I'm losing track. I'll let you, uh, it'll come back to me.
ZM: Okay. Well our experience is there's three types of members on our website— those of her are just exploring, folks that are observing from on the fence, and those who are ready to move forward. We've come to understand this is a process people go through as they consider shared housing. And those who’ve had success with a housemate in the past are probably the most willing to move forward proactively with shared housing. You're an author, coach, a mentor for shared housing and you have a unique perspective on this process. So what
research do you recommend people do when they're looking at this is an option?
AP: Oh I think the really key and most important piece of research is the one that goes in inside. That people get very clear, before they do any talking to anybody else or thinking about it or or whatever, about what they must have and what they can't live with, and in their home, because they're talking about sharing housing with somebody and they're going to have a home together or as a group.
AP: Um and I'll use as an example I have a friend and colleague who I discovered when she when I discovered she had an empty room in her house I said oh you should have a housemate and she said “no way!” And a year later, out of the blue, she looked at me and she said “ oh I owe my financial solvency to you" and I said “huh?” and she said that she sat down, read my book cover to cover and realized that her fears about having a housemate **were bigger than they** should be and that she had a whole lot more control on whom she let live with her.
And so I think that the research that's necessary is to come to terms with what the important things are for you, so that those are the things you go looking for when you look for a housemate.
ZM: yeah definitely research, research is key. And I think you're right people don't consider inside, at first glance that it's important to dig a little bit deeper into that. So we recommend when people are researching shared housing that they find road maps to help them on their journey. And your website is a great resource for people Annamarie. I'd like to…
AP: Thank you
ZM: Maybe just go through some of the things that you're doing on the site. I noticed that you're doing a blog. Um, you often have people who have testimonials and comments. So, you just did a total revamp. Why don't we talk a little bit about what tools your website offers to people who are considering shared housing?
AP: Love to, because it's a big piece of it. So I think one of my key piece- tools is something, is a questionnaire. I've sometimes called it an interviewing questionnaire or a checklist, but basically what it does it's the multiple choice, quick little thing with 13 questions that asks you about cleanliness, neatness, noise, guests, routines, kitchen use, um finances, and tasks and helps you think about these key areas. Because in all my experience of sharing housing, and I have over 20 years of experience, those are the areas that make or break a relationship. And so my questionnaire, you can take it it's a multiple choice questionnaire, then you can get it emailed to yourself so that you have it as a resource for going and interviewing. You could ask somebody else that you're considering to be a housemate to also take the questionnaire and then you can sit down and talk about your answers to these questions. And it's a conversation starter. It's not the be all and end all, and you don't necessarily have to have the same answers, but you need to have a conversation about those critical areas. So that's one tool.
AP: Another tool are downloadable worksheets. The worksheets were created as part of the book and they're in the book. My book is “Sharing Housing: A Guidebook For Finding And Keeping Good Housemates. But each one of the worksheets that's in the book is also downloadable from the web site, so that you can print it out and write it up and then you, can if you want to, do it again, you can do a different one. Um, so those are my two key things.
AP: Of course I keep a blog going. I have a list of resources which includes, um your database. Um what else do I have on there? I offer myself as a coach, to help people on a one-to-one basis. I also offer workshops for people, for groups of people if they're interested… um what else do I have there Zoe?
ZM: Well, you, one of the things that you have besides the questionnaire, is you kind of go a little bit deeper into that whole coaching question because a lot of times people, when they're exploring, I mean they're spending a lot of time, energy looking, and the coaching component involves sessions that you offer. You can offer a variety of sessions. So, why don’t we talk a little bit about those? Because those look like a great resource for somebody who's really beginning to explore.
AP: Well what I did was, I have a very clear idea, and I write it up in the book, what the process is for sure for finding a good housemate. And I think it should, I should be clear, that I'm really focused on the relationship that you're be building with the person, and um I'm assuming that most people know how to deal , how to think about the physical space, whether they like a ranch house or a brick house, or whatever like that.
AP: So my coaching I have packaged in various different groups, so that if somebody wanted to have help with just getting clear on what kinds of questions they were asking I could coach that. Or I might help somebody start from the very beginning of “do I really want to do this, why would I want to do this” through the process of actually moving in with somebody. I have it packaged in very, in different ways, to try to help people understand what the process is. And maybe in fact, looking at that, that page, which is just the coach page on my website, might help people see what the road map is- that I think is the process for finding a good housemate.
ZM: Sure because it is kind of a little jog to look at look through that information to know that um there's things out there– and we found the book to be a really good resource. We refer people to the book quite often and we have a link to it on the website. Um so let's talk a little bit, because we haven't really had this part of the conversation maybe just briefly, about what brought you to writing a book on sharing housing.
AP: Um it's a moment in a conversation with a friend. I've already mentioned that I've lived in shared housing for over 20 years of my adult life. I have, um, I guess I've always been been clear that I don't want to live alone, and so in various different places in my life I would look for and have roommates.
AP: The impetus behind this book however came when I was having a conversation with my friend Deb and she said she was complaining about her finances and I said “you have an asset, use it” and she said “what are you talking about” and I said “rent a room in your house” and she's like “I don't think so I've had bad roommates, I don't want to do that” and I said and I said “yeah but you did such a lousy “...I didn't say it quite this way, but the truth of the matter was she had not done a very good job of selecting her housemates. And she said “well will you coach me?” and I said “sure I'll coach you”.
AP: And after we got off the phone I realized that in fact over the 20 years I had developed a process that was working for me. And I realized I could make available to other people and have it work for them. Because most people when they've had a bad housemate relationship, have also done a horrible job of selecting that housemate.
ZM: Sure- well, you're a really great resource for anybody that's considering shared housing. We’ve just got a couple minutes left. I was wondering if you’d just like to share your website address?
AP: Sure it is www.sharinghousing.com. It's actually two ings in there, sharinghousing.com and uh I would love to see people come and visit me there, and I'm hoping to soon put up a question, question and answer um section of the website– I haven't quite figured out how to do that.
ZM: Yeah, I think that'd be a great resource. So thank you for spending a few minutes with us this morning Annamarie. I'm going to let you go but um I'm looking forward to talking to you again soon.
AP: Okay and I should tell people I have a Facebook page too, which is “Sharing Housing” which is an immediate way of connecting with me.
ZM: Excellent! So we'll talk soon. So thank you so much Annamarie
AP: Thank you Zoe bye-bye.
ZM: We'll send them there.
ZM: Next week we'll be meeting Yvonne, a YouTube interviewee on Monday March 26th at 10 A.M Pacific Standard Time. Join us on the Let’s Share Housing Blog Talk Radio Show or find out more about Yvonne at our Let’s Share Housing Facebook page if you're ready to explore shared housing go to let'ssharehousing.com for our calendar, videos and helpful ways. This is your resource for taking that next step. We're helping housemates connect. This is Zoe, your shared housing advocate, signing off for now. See you on the 26th.
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We're enthusiastic about conversations about shared housing. Please let us know if you have a positive spin to share and let others know about the benefits and rewards of sharing.
Resources
Annamarie conducts informative Q&A Sessions twice monthly.
Links to register for the Q&A sessions can be found here https://www.facebook.com/SharingHousing
Annamarie's Website: sharinghousing.com
Annamarie's book: Sharing Housing-A Guidebook For Finding And Keeping Good Housemates
Annamarie's Classes: https://sharinghousing.com/lessons/
The Share is a collective of shared housing advocates, experts and enthusiasts dedicated to highlighting the benefits of shared housing.
The Share can be found on Facebook Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/thesharecollectiveresource
Facebook Group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/3490216994589069
The Share https://theshareresource.blogspot.com/
